Tom & Kelly’s Moment

Tom and Kelly were at their wits end. The couple had three children: an eleven-year-old (Kim) and 8-year-old twins (Simon & Cyril). Kim was a handful for both parents, and the twins were quickly following in their older sister’s footsteps. They sought help at the local county Mental Health services division one afternoon, and that’s when they were referred to one of our Family Support Services programs at Bridges of Hope. Both parents were very excited–and just a little apprehensive–about the program, which works one-on-one with families in their home over a brief, but very intensive, period of time. During the first couple of meetings with me, they shared how they felt embarrassed that their children were so out of control and expressed doubts about whether it might already be too too late for them to take back the control.

In particular, mornings were awful for the family, because Tom left for work early, leaving Kelly to get everyone up, fed, and out the door on time. There was a lot of fighting and crying, and a lot of stress and frustration for Kelly as she also attempted to get herself ready. Kelly was spending the ten-minute ride to school lecturing the kids amid tantrums and more squabbling. By the time she got to work (about 5 minutes late) every day, Kelly’s nerves were fried. In addition, she was doing all of the housework for the family; and in the evenings, homework time and bedtime were a continuation of the “nightmare.” Tom and Kelly had even stopped going out together as a family, because of their embarrassment over their kids’ behaviors.

I was able to assure them they were not alone and that many parents struggle with these kinds of parenting challenges. I was already hosting Love and Logic classes for several families with children around the same ages, so I invited them to join the class. They had been to “Love and Logic “a few years back, but they admitted to never really using it much and were willing to give it a fresh try this time around. Over the next five weeks, they attended the weekly evening class, where the group watched a Love and Logic DVD and then each shared one technique that they planned to try at home with their children that week.

Kelly admitted the class felt like date night–the kids were with a babysitter and they could just enjoy some (peaceful!) time together. Tom really took the “one technique” implementation to heart right away, and the couple reported that the kids were really responding well to him. Kelly, a self-described “control freak,” admitted she had a harder time letting go of things and allowing the children to be responsible for their own mistakes (and the consequences). My role during some of the home visits would be to help both parents figure out how to “tweek” the Love and Logic techniques to meet their needs. We also set weekly goals for the family. Over time, life REALLY changed for Kelly–and for the family as a whole. The children each had their own alarm clocks and were responsible to get up and ready for school on their own: Kelly provided breakfast, and they did the rest. Bedtime routine was adjusted to ensure everyone was ready for the next morning: backpacks & shoes were by the door, clothes were picked out and ready to put on. Kelly too began to get up 10 minutes earlier than she used to to ensure that she was ready too, and 15 minutes before it is time to walk out the door, Kelly now sets a timer: when it goes off, everyone leaves–no matter his or her state of dress or readiness.

Since implementing Love and Logic in their home, the entire family has been transformed. Tom and Kelly are  excited to continue parenting their children, and when they go out as a family, the expectations are set before they leave. If anyone doesn’t follow the expectations, one of the parents takes the offender to the car while the others enjoy their time together. This family is truly enjoying each other now, and it is a great success-in-progress!

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To learn more about Love and Logic parenting, click here.

If you or someone you know is struggling with parenting, call Bridges of Hope at 218.825.7682.

Maggie’s Moment

Maggie is a 34-year-old single mother with a 9-year-old daughter named Yasmin. Maggie had been referred to one of Bridges of Hope’s Family Support Services programs, and I first met her at a local domestic violence shelter. Maggie wanted support during her transition from an abusive relationship to an independent, safe life for her and Yasmin.

Over three months of working together, Maggie and I met each week, and together we set several goals. The first was to find permanent housing so I connected Maggie to LSS HOPE Housing, and after three months of living at the shelter, she enrolled in a transitional housing program. This gave her the opportunity to live in temporary, affordable housing owned by LSS until she was able to locate permanent affordable, housing. It was a good in-between step for Maggie.

Another goal set by Maggie was to address her daughter’s school performance; especially in the area of homework. With the challenges Yasmin and Maggie had been facing, Maggie was at a loss for how to help her daughter with school work. Maggie and I talked through several techniques and I encouraged her to try one at a time until they found something that worked. After about a month of trying new things, Maggie was happy to to tell me that Yasmin was keeping up with her homework and doing much better in school!

Maggie also wanted to learn to be a better cook, as her ex-husband had done most of the cooking. That was a simple enough goal to work on together! We gave Maggie a couple of family-friendly cookbooks that had been donated to the organization and helped her enroll in a cooking classes through University of Minnesota Extension and she learned to prepare healthy meals on a modest budget.

Maggie started out this process clearly suffering from severe depression and anxiety, and often put herself down. As Maggie worked on each of these steps in the process, it was clear that her self-esteem, confidence and overall mental health was improving!

Maggie exited services a stronger person and recently shared, “when I first started working with Bridges of Hope, I thought things were a lot worse than they were. Working with you helped me see things in a different perspective.”

Please contact Bridges of Hope if you or someone you know is facing a challenging situation. We can be reached at (218)825-7682.

Thank you for helping us build Bridges!

New Program Making a Big Difference for Teen Parents

The Teen Parent Outreach Program is new to Bridges of Hope in the past year. This program is a collaborative effort with Crow Wing County Community Services who approached us last year to help them expand this successful program and work alongside more teen parents (receiving cash assistance) to increase successful outcomes for them and their little ones.

There are a number of challenges teen parents face. For example, they are more likely to give birth to low birth weight or premature babies, be involved in the child protection system, drop out of high school, and live in poverty. They are also less likely to seek out proper prenatal care, and to follow through with well child checks & immunizations for their children. Through this program, I am working with more than 20 teen parents and their children to minimize these challenges.

The primary goals we are working on with the mothers are:

• Ensuring prenatal care is received.
• Increasing birth weight.
• Carrying to full term.
• Preventing subsequent pregnancies.

Other goals include:

• Keeping children safe by reducing child protection issues.
• Empowering the teens to graduate high school and/or obtain their GED.
• Making sure the children are up to date in immunizations and well child checks.
• Increasing the strengths in parents and lowering risk factors.

Good news! Teens involved in this program graduated from high school a rate of 51% (the state average for teen moms is 30%), AND 84% of the teens who participated in the program were not on cash assistance one year later.

I have been honored to help expand such a wonderful program to reach more teens and offer more in-depth services. Emily and Megan’s stories are great examples of how this program is changing lives:

Emily’s Story:

Emily struggles with her mental health and originally came onto my caseload while she was pregnant and applying for disability. During our time working together, she was denied disability benefits. While I was concerned this would  discourage her, it did not. Instead, she made the choice to begin looking for work and obtained a part-time job at a local restaurant. During this time, she also attended her prenatal care appointments.

On November 19^th, her son, Matthew was born full-term and weighing a healthy 7+ pounds. She stayed in great contact with her employer and went back to her job six weeks later. I assisted her in applying for daycare assistance and getting all the necessary paperwork filled out for Matthew.  Unfortunately, her daycare provider was not approved by the county. She is still in the process of trying to obtain childcare, but I have been impressed in the meantime by how resourceful she has been in finding a trustworthy person to care for her son while she is at work.

I have seen Emily change so much since the birth of Matthew. As I mentioned earlier she has some significant mental health struggles, and I had concerns about how she would adapt to less sleep and the demands of caring for a newborn. Thankfully, I was pleasantly surprised, and being a mom has helped give Emily a purpose and reason to get up in the morning. She seems happier and more determined to keep her job and provide for Matthew.

Megan’s Story:

Megan hasn’t been to the dentist for many years, if ever. Through our work together in the Teen Parent Outreach Program, it was a part of her case plan to go to the dentist. (She likes to say that I am forcing her to go, however, I’ve really only strongly encouraged it!) About five months ago, I sat with her at Starbucks, her favorite coffee shop, and we made dentist appointments for her and her two-year-old daughter, Eva. She was able to get Eva in without a problem, however, an adult on MA (Medical Assistance) is much harder to get in to the dentist. She ended up being able to make an appointment at the Central Lakes Community Dental Clinic and I committed to bringing her there for moral support (and because transportation is a huge barrier for this family).

The good news is that Megan finally went to the dentist! The bad news is she had 11 cavities and one tooth that needed to be pulled.

A couple of months later, Megan has gotten eight of those cavities filled and continues to go to her appointments. The neatest part of this story is that little Eva has already been to the dentist at age 2 and Megan is so proud that she is passing on better habits to her daughter. Eva brushes her teeth every night, and, of course in true 2-year-old fashion, wants to do it herself! I truly believe that Megan does not want Eva to go through what she is experiencing right now. It is exciting to see the impact this program is having across multiple generations.

Thank you for helping us build Bridges for families like Emily’s & Megan’s!

Stay connected with Bridges of Hope:

• Read stories about other families touched by Bridges.
• Subscribe to our eNewsletter on our website.
• Make a gift to support our work and create more stories like this.
• “Like” us on Facebook to stay updated.

YOU made it a Happy New Year!

Greetings wonderful supporters! YOU made it a Happy New Year for more than 2,500 households in the Lakes Area!

It was Monday, December 30. Our staff members were busy on their final day in the office for 2012, serving clients and preparing for all 2013 would bring. Our Fall Campaign to help support our work with families like Steven & Laura’s, Shelly’s, and many others had reached the $56,619 mark by the end of the day. We were just $3,381 shy of our goal and were feeling so fortunate to have such generous supporters. AND, there were still Thrivent Financial Foundation matching funds available, so we were hopeful we would reach our $60,000 goal.

Once again, YOU, our faithful supporters answered the call to action. When we returned to the office this morning to account for the gifts that arrived online & those postmarked by December 31, 2012, the grand total that YOU contributed to our 2012 Fall Campaign was….

Drum roll, please…

$61,410!!!!

THANK YOU for helping us surpass our goal. Your generosity is appreciated by the more than 2,500 households across the Lakes Area who turned to Bridges of Hope during a time of need in 2012.

We look forward to all that 2013 will bring: opportunities & challenges.

YOU make all the difference. Happy New Year! Thanks again for helping us build Bridges!

The All-Time Top Eleven Quotes from our Clients

Since our founding, Bridges of Hope has built-in a specific follow-up component to our services. We have two main reasons for doing this. First, we want to make sure that the resources, programs and ideas we suggested actually helped someone resolve their crisis–because that’s why we exist! Second, and equally as important, we want to know whenever those resources, programs, and ideas didn’t work for someone–so we can do a better job matching a person’s unique situation to the right resources the next time around.

Because of our commitment to following up, our staff spend some of their time every week making follow-up phone calls to those we have recently worked with. A side benefit to making these phone calls is that many of our clients say some really kind things to us, and a few years ago, we decided it might be a good idea to write them down!

So here you can see the all-time top eleven quotes from our clients, as voted on by our staff.

Some are funny, some are a little quirky, most inspire us to continue our work, and all of them are incredibly gracious and kind:

Number 11: Bridges was beyond wonderful. I wish I would have known about this program 6 years ago.

Number 10: I can’t believe how nice your thrift store is!

Number 9: Usually Bridges is pretty good. The way I look at it is that it just isn’t meant to be this time.

Number 8: I called for Crisis Nursery at 9:00 AM and got to work by 10:00!

Number 7: I so appreciate you! You are a lifesaver. I can’t say excellent enough! I don’t know what I would have done without you!

Number 6: Because of Bridges of Hope, I feel like I have more support in the Brainerd community.

Number 5: You guys rock. I have tears in my eyes. I was so worried about my kids.

Number 4: My opinion of Bridges has just changed, because you made this follow-up call to see how we were doing.

Number 3: I was so distraught and worried when I called Bridges of Hope. When I got off the phone I prayed, and then a sense of calm came over me. I feel that Bridges was the answer to my prayers. Thank you.

Number 2: I am so grateful that you helped me! I had no other way to get my car fixed. Thank God for Bridges of Hope and people like you!

And our nearly unanimous favorite:

Number 1: I wouldn’t have made it through without all the help. You were the “bridge” to my hope!

Honestly, there is truly no higher source of praise. An enormous thanks is due to those we serve for their generous words.

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Do you know someone who is struggling? Someone working through a family or parenting crisis? Someone could use our help navigating area resources? Visit our website for more information or have them call Bridges of Hope today: 218.825.7682.

Something to be Thankful For

Bridges of Hope has provided the community with a Thanksgiving Basket Program since 2009. Although it can be a very busy, stressful time of year, it is also one of the most fun and rewarding programs that I am a part of at the organization. (And we do a lot of fun, rewarding things here!)

It’s fun to be able to do something out of the ordinary from my more typical daily tasks, and it’s rewarding to be able to see community members from area churches, businesses, service clubs, and individual families come together to help families who would likely not be able to afford a Thanksgiving meal otherwise. Every year the program has grown, and this year we are expecting to serve approximately 275 families! We rely on the amazing generosity of our sponsors to make this a reality.

Another reason this is such a rewarding program is due to the fact that it is one of the best opportunities for Bridges of Hope to offer a more “hands on” experience for those of our partners and supporters out there who are looking for that kind of experience. This program allows sponsors the opportunity to shop for the food themselves and personally deliver the basket to the family.

We realize this is not the kind of experience that everyone is looking for, and so we are happy to offer other kinds of ways to interface with Bridges; including volunteering, shopping and donating at Common Goods; serving as a mentor in our new Side by Side program; and financially supporting our work with families. But for those of you considering sponsorship this Thanksgiving, I would like to share with you what a past sponsor (who is sponsoring again this year) shared with me recently. She was talking at her church group about the program and encouraging others to get involved, and she shared her experience delivering the baskets last year: “we were able to have conversations with the families and tell them about who we were and invited them to come to our Thanksgiving Eve service at church.” For this sponsor, the unique, personal experience was what made it a great.

Of course, we also realize that not every sponsor can afford the time to personally deliver their basket, and so Bridges of Hope offers the option for sponsors to instead shop and deliver the food to our office, so that another volunteer can deliver the basket to the family. However, we find that most sponsors choose to deliver the baskets themselves! If you would like more information on the program and how to become a sponsor, please click here.

While my post so far has been on the sponsors, the true focus of this program is the families receiving the baskets. The families are the reason we run the program, and serving them in the best way possible is how we make decisions on how the program should be run. Since 2009, you have helped provide over 600 meals to families for Thanksgiving–and we have received numerous thank-you calls and notes from those families, expressing just how thankful they are–and isn’t that exactly what Thanksgiving is all about?

I am so thankful for all of the families we are able to serve because of our amazing sponsors that make this program possible! Thank you!

Sponsors are still needed for this year’s program. To sponsor a family for Thanksgiving this year, visit our website for details.